Dangers of the occult, part II…..new voices, deeper confusion, torment


I will put enmity between you and the woman, between your seed and hers….(Gen.3:15)

(If you have not yet read Part I of this series on my involvement with the occult, you can find it here.)

I don’t blame Anne’s pastor.  He seemed as confused as we were over what was happening.  We explained to him that the spirits we had been communicating with were deceased relatives, and that they had encouraged us to pray more, and even to go to daily Mass.  Then I hit him with the news that they were the reason I had gone to confession to him that day, after so many years away from the Sacraments.

Although I wish he had been more informed about the occult, here we were telling him all of the “good” that had come out of what we had been up to.  In the end, he simply told us to continue to look at the fruit.  If we saw any bad fruit, that should be a red flag to us to cease these communications.

With the tacit approval of a priest, we were more eager than ever to resume conversing with our “relatives.”   The voices had been unusually quiet during my confession and our conversation with Father.   The concept of being once again in the state of grace was overwhelming for me.  I almost could not believe it.  I was eager to hear what my “grandparents,” “great-aunts,” etc., would have to say about all of this.

They did not disappoint.  For some reason, we chose to use the ouija board again that night, and my “grandfather” identified himself.  Then he told me that he owed his salvation to me.  He said that God had decided to save him on his death bed because God knew how obedient I would be about going to confession.  He continued to heap tons of praise upon me.  This confused and upset me.

The next day, I received more praise to the point where I was grateful to remember a little prayer from my Catholic school days:  Jesus meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.  And, I began to repeat it over and over again.  Something just did not seem quite right.

About three days after I had gone to confession, the voices suddenly announced that “god” himself was going to speak directly to me.  I was terrified, but they reassured me that “god” was very pleased with me.  They told me to be prepared for his coming.

I was literally trembling.  I did not want God to speak to me, but what could I do?  I knelt down and waited, repeating the Our Father over and over again.  When “god” supposedly spoke, he sounded nothing like what I had expected.  He seemed harsh, capricious, almost taunting.  I was frightened to death.  After a couple of days, “he” began to tell me strange things, such as that I would be a great saint, that I would have many children (my husband and I were trying to conceive), and the first would be a boy, etc.  I found myself wishing “he” would stay away, and then worrying, because I knew “he” could read my thoughts, since “he” was “god.”

Something else was happening too.  I began having more and more voices in my head.  It was like a chorus of voices.  When I say “voices,” I do not mean audible voices, but rather thoughts spoken by someone else interiorly.  But even though not audible, the thought patterns conveyed different personalities.

Anne was not having the experience of “god,” nor was she afflicted with multiple voices all clamoring at the same time.  In fact, she and her husband grew concerned for me, because I seemed driven to distraction by all of this noise and confusion.  It was difficult to concentrate on my conversations with them.  They worried what my husband would think when he returned.

I can only guess, but my theory is that because Anne had been a practicing Catholic when all of this happened, she was not nearly as vulnerable to the evil spirits as I was.  I had not been in the state of grace for years, and hence, they considered me their property.  Then, however God arranged it, I went to confession that Saturday, and now I had returned to my Father’s house through the Precious Blood of Our and Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and these creatures were utterly furious.

I could sense their anger, although they tried to disguise it.
Sometimes, it would emerge in exclamations of, “We are going to kill you!”  But then they would explain that an evil spirit had said that, not them… the “good spirits.”

If this all sounds crazy and unbelievable….even insane, it was!   As mentioned before, it seemed surreal….like living on the edge of reality.  What are they saying?   Who do you believe?  Who are they, really?  How much power do they have?  Is that really “god?”

Except for rote prayers in school, I had avoided God for years, since I was convinced I was already going to hell.  I did not know how to react to “him” now, especially since “he” would personally address me.

By the time I left Anne’s house, two weeks after this all began, I had lost eight pounds off of my formerly 108 pound, 5’5″ frame.  My jeans were literally falling off of me.  I had scarcely been eating or sleeping.  I was a wreck.

My husband listened patiently on the drive back from Georgia, where Anne lived, to the small North Carolina town where we were currently living.  At the time, my husband was in the Air National Guard, was a graduate student and held a full time job.  I don’t think he took  what I was saying too seriously, and I know he didn’t have time to focus much attention on it.

I was actually grateful that he didn’t ask questions.  Back home again, I concluded that some of the voices were good spirits, and some were bad.  Anne agreed.

Meanwhile, in the midst of the madness, my Most Beloved and True God was at work in me, and Our Lady, my Most Blessed Mother took me under her care.  Even though the “god” I had been introduced to seemed somewhat cruel, I still remembered much of what I had learned about Jesus Christ in Catholic school.

And, by the way, these evil spirits never once mentioned His Holy Name!  Not once!  They said “god” only.

(click here for part III)

Please note:

(1)  Satan and his demons often present themselves as “angels of light.” (2Corinthians 11:14)  They will not hesitate to suggest that you pray or even go to Mass, if they think they can use these things as a means to accomplish their goal.  Like Anne and myself, many Christians will assume that anyone who encourages them to pray or to attend church must be “good.”

Wrong! This is only a ploy to bait the victim and win his/her trust.

(2)  They never inspire humility in a soul, rather they work to increase pride.  You are special.  You are chosen.  In my case, I even “saved my grandfather’s soul…”   You will do great things, etc.

(3)  They are authors of confusion.  They often do not make sense, or they say one thing and then later say they were just testing you.  Their “voices.” in my experience have no warmth, kindness, etc., but are either flat, cunning, or downright cruel.

(4)  They will do anything to keep a soul from God.  When a soul slips from their grasp and returns to God, they are furious with rage.  They will not give up easily and will pursue the soul as long as God allows this.  Although, He Himself always works all to the good of the soul who loves Him and is trying to please Him.  He guides and protects the soul who clings to Him.

(5)  The evil spirits hate the Holy Name of Jesus, and in my experience, will not pronounce this Saving Name.  I have read that they also will not speak Mary’s name.

(6)  These devils hate us beyond belief.  Their sole ambition is to drag all of us down to hell with them.  Opening the door to any contact with them at all is strictly forbidden by the Church, and puts the soul in extreme danger, even to the point of being lost forever.


8 thoughts on “Dangers of the occult, part II…..new voices, deeper confusion, torment

  1. Patricia, I am so glad for the courage you have to tell this story. You have made so many excellent points here which have to be said..loud and clear, for the times we live in are filled to the brim with this diabolical disorientation. There’s a show on cable now called the ‘Long Island Medium” who ascribes to the delusion that her talents are from god.. Shows like this normalize and desensitize people to accept this lie as truth– And poor as catechisis is these days, it’s not a hard sell; UNLESS someone steps out into the light to expose the darkness as you’re doing here.

    I will be praying for you as you continue to unfold this testimony..

    “And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the word of His testimony..” Rev 12:11

    Love always and blessings +

    • Caroline, thank you so much for your affirming words, as I go back many years to this very strange time in my life. Of course, our Blessed Lord Jesus brought great good out of it in the end, but it still makes my hair stand on end to realize how close I was to these horrid beings who want only our destruction.

      I’ve seen promos for that Long Island Medium show. They make it look like such fun, entertainment and like she’s really helping people. The devil is so clever, and knows how to peddle his poison. So many people see no harm in this stuff…she looks like a nice lady, etc. Same with horoscopes and palm reading etc. It’s all “fun,” isn’t it? Well, we thought the ouija board was just entertainment too…and we got much more than we bargained for.

      Thank you for your prayers. It’s been pretty quiet over here. (Of course, my regular readers are well aware of the dangers of the occult.) I just hope I’m reaching a few people who need to be informed.

      Also, God’s Goodness was made so manifest in all of this! How lovingly He cares for us; how great is His Mercy and Love! It still brings tears to my eyes to relive that part of all of this. And, He is in complete control. His is the Power and the Glory. He may permit some liberties to the evil ones, but only to bring greater good out of it…and only to the limit which He determines. Jesus is LORD!

      Hope your blog problems are being resolved. I’m so sorry… It seems you have preserved your posts at least. I hope so! Extra hugs too you today…and thanks again for being here for me. xoxo

  2. Hi Patricia,
    It’s hard to read your post without getting chills. What a frightening experience and one that can teach us all about the terrible dangers of the occult. I’m sorry that you had to suffer through this – there is nothing as terrifying as pure evil and it’s too much for our human nature to cope with. I thank the Lord for his mercy in
    helping you so quickly!

    Hugs to you, my friend. God brings good out of everything, doesn’t He?

    • Mary, it gave me chills to write it…especially that first sentence in part I, at the top of the stairs and feeling the rage of pure hatred. Of course, that was only a smidgen of what these evil spirits really feel for us. We would surely die if they could spew the true measure of their hatred upon us.

      But, experiencing this has impressed me so deeply with the worth of a single soul Every soul must surely be of inestimable value to God, if these creatures are so intent upon destroying all of us.

      Yes, truly God can bring good out of everything! It still brings tears to my eyes to recall His great kindness and Mercy throughout this ordeal. I was so happy to find the “real” God, Who was immeasurably different from the imposter “god.” Pure Goodness, Pure Love….. What joy to discover that!

      Thank you for those hugs, I need them! And thank you for following this saga with me. Love you!

  3. An amazing and intriguing narrative! I finally had a chance to read both installments, and I was quickly drawn into the story as you related your thoughts and fears. The impression you leave upon this reader is that you exhort some key points by your noted six items; much of what I was given and revealed by my spiritual director, priest, and in prayer. Your cautionary chastisements, being simply said, and if taken to heart, should be effective to the unwary and diminish the lure of the occult. Let us so hope! (Not for me to relate any personal story of mine here, but to draw to a different point; the priest you mention leaves me to believe he had no experience in such things. The experience you relate is not unlike many of the spiritual challenges confronted by those developing a more intense practice of their faith and the weaknesses that distract, or even take them away from it altogether.)

    There are those who are specially trained spiritual directors who ‘know first-hand’ of auditory hallucinations, (hearing voices, which came immediately to mind for me), and the affect of possible mental disorders in developing a spiritual life. The specter of schizophrenia is a very real factor by those who discern and assess the viability of anyone entering into a life commitment of their faith.

    I’m immensely taken by this account and wait impatiently for your next entry. My prayers are with you as you share a small part of your soul with us.

    • David, thank you for your very thoughtful and insightful comment…and for reading those two lengthy posts 🙂

      Schizophrenia …that is definitely a consideration whenever one is hearing voices. I’m quite sure that if I had visited a mental health professional while in the midst of this experience, I would have likely been diagnosed with schizophrenia. That would have been extremely detrimental, and would have caused many additional problems, such as my family believing I was mentally ill, my being treated with strong psychiatric medications…perhaps even hospitalized. I shudder to think what the outcome would have been.

      Certainly, schizophrenia is a valid form of mental illness. But, as I heard one priest who was an exorcist say: People can be mistakenly diagnosed with schizophrenia, when what they really are suffering from is diabolical obsession. Ideally, individuals who present with symptoms such as hearing voices, should be evaluated by a priest well-versed in deliverance ministry. Sadly, this rarely happens, and I have often wondered how many people are in psychiatric hospitals or at least on strong medications, when their problem is not mental illness….but diabolical influence brought about by opening a portal through which these evil spirits could enter their lives.

      It is my understanding that true schizophrenia cannot be cured, but when the problem is spiritual, a complete recovery or deliverance is likely when the individual seeks God and/or is seen by a priest experienced in such matters. (You were correct about the priest we consulted.)

      It is amazing the havoc which the devil can wreak! We can even read of his activity in the lives of many Saints who had to contend with his attempts at deception, violent temptations, and at times, even physcial attacks…Padre Pio and St. Jean Vianney come to mind.

      To complicate matters, “voices” can also be of God. St. Joan of Arc is the perfect example, but there have been others as well. Certainly, our Saints who were mystics heard interior voices, and at times audible voices as well. Caution must always be observed should this happen, and certainly submitting oneself to a spiritual director or priest.

      But, without a doubt, holy voices do not communicate through ouija boards, mediums, etc. We can be quite sure of that! Thanks again for your interesting comment, David. God bless you!

  4. Patricia,

    “In the end, he simply told us to continue to look at the fruit. If we saw any bad fruit, that should be a red flag to us to cease these communications.” I think the devil is very good at making us believe the fruits of a diabolical experience are good. How could God not be involved? Maybe he fools us more times than we realise as he tries to gain our confidence. I often wonder if this is also the case with certain visions and private revelations. Perhaps it is better to be cautious and not trust our own judgement. Difficult though when even priests are unsure how to proceed.

    Thank you for sharing your story. It is very frightening to see the devil, who many people like to think doesn’t exist, in action. He is so very clever and wily.

    God bless!

    • Sue, I’m so sorry I missed this comment the first go round. It’s so insightful.

      I think the devil is very good at making us believe the fruits of a diabolical experience are good.
      Exactly! My friend and I were convinced that “spirits” who told us to pray and go to Mass HAD to be good. It’s not always easy to have the correct discernment…even with a priest’s help. Although I think that today most priests would know that a ouija board is always a dangerous thing.

      I agree with you about visions and private revelations. I don’t follow any of them except those that have been approved by the Church…like Lourdes and Fatima. I actually visited Medjugorje 20 years ago, and had a beautiful faith filled journey there. But, I don’t keep up with it much now. I await the decision of the Church. I’ve run into lots of people on FB who follow all kinds of messages, etc. I don’t think God sends so many private revelations to people like that…not to share with the world.

      Thank you for reading my story, Sue, and for commenting. Everyone who commented had such wise things to share. God bless you my firend.

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