A King’s Ransom……..

In my thanksgiving after Holy Communion today, I found myself consumed with how completely I am owned by God.

The Price He paid overwhelmed me, as I recalled the Stations of the Cross, His Holy Face pressed into the dust and rock as the Cross fell heavily upon His scourged Body. More blows from the soldiers as He struggled first to His knees, and then to His feet….for me.

Before me was the Crucifix where I could see the nails, the nakedness, the agony, the forsakenness. Heart racing, lungs burning, muscles cramping, Blood spilling, cold sweat….Tears.

Within me, the Sacred Host. Jesus dwelling in nothingness, wretchedness, yet robing me in the Grace He had purchased with so much suffering.

I am motionless. How does one move when they contain within their dust not the universe, but the One Who made the universe? Not a pure and sacred thing, but Holiness Itself? Not a king, but a God Who is King of all kings?

How do I breathe? Why am I not annihilated by such Glory, such Majesty, such burning Purity?

“You are Mine,” Jesus said. “I paid the price. I paid more than the cost. I gave Everything. I gave All. Now no one or nothing else can ever claim you, for I gave my last drop of Blood….for you.

No one can pay more. But you can refuse my Love. You are free to love me…or not.”

I am lost in the Love I cannot comprehend, in what He chose to give in exchange for me — not an ocean of precious jewels or a mountain of gold or even a thousand universes! But His Own Blood, His Own Life is what He chose to give.

I am confused by the extravagance of my worth.

Where do I go?

What do I do?

How can I love enough?

The Host rests within me.

We are one.

And Jesus says:

“Do not fear.

My Love has made you worth

everything to Me.

And I will live in you,

And I will love in you,

And together we will go,

When the time comes…

Always together,

For you are Mine.”

18 thoughts on “A King’s Ransom……..

  1. Glad your back from vacation..Hope you had a restful and peaceful time. I love these posts where you share so much of the love of your heart for our Lord. So beautiful..+

    • Thanks you, Caroline. It’s always so hard to return to reality after vacation! Right after we returned, Lee dumped about 10 inches of rain on us over three days. Thankfully, there was no danger in our area. Actually, it was kind of cozy, having to stay in and listen to the rain falling. It was great sleeping in and napping weather — and we both did a good bit of that! : )

      Thank you for your kind words. Those are the posts that sort of write themselves, and I’m so grateful to God, cause in my spiritual dryness, it’s so hard for me to write the way I would like to. God bless you, dear friend.

    • Anne, your affirming words mean more than you could ever know. It is not easy for me to share these most personal thoughts, but I so long to help just one lost lamb out there believe that God loves them. Your own beautiful heart is already full of His Love, but the fact that you can relate, and you can be touched gives me the courage to continue trying. Thank you so much, my friend!

      God bless you…and please keep writing.

  2. These are not just reflections that you share, Patricia, but prayers that all of us could pray. I know I could never come up with the words as you do. You share something very special with the Little Flower in that regard. Thanks again, I needed to read this.

    • Joyce, I always wish I could hug you, because you say the nicest things. I’m so grateful that the post was helpful to you. I know you have been struggling a bit lately. This will sound weird, but I needed to read my own post too! Has that ever happened to you?

      I hope that your trip to Rome will bring you much consolation. Surrounded by so much beauty, and kneeling in Churches which have been drenched in prayer for centuries really lifts one’s spirits. When do you leave? I’ll be praying for you while you are away. And don’t worry about flying……just hang on to your rosary : )

    • Hello Colleen — so you are “inadequate” too? : )
      I’m glad Mary sent you as well…I’m just getting to know her a bit, but she reminds me of sunshine, all bright and cheerful and warm.
      Thank you so much for taking time to leave your kind words. I have been busy thanking Jesus for all the lovely comments, which belong to Him, of course. As Therese would say, “Ah, how good it is to love the Good God!” Indeed! Please visit again.


    • Thanks be to God! And thank you for leaving a prayer request.
      BTW, you have beautiful blog. I am so happy to have found it and look forward to spending time there. May God bless you!

  3. I found your blog through Mary at The Beautiful Gate~ so glad she let us know about your blog and your beautiful reflection today. I will remember these words and prayers as I receive Jesus at Mass this morning.
    Thank you for this and God bless.

    • Karinann, I love your name. Thank you for visiting here, and for your kind words. I’m very grateful to Jesus that you were blessed by this little reflection. I’m looking forward to reading your blog and some others I now know about because of Mary’s thoughtfulness and kindness. I hope you will visit again.

  4. My comment didn’t go through again, did it? I logged in to Facebook so hopefully this one will work.
    This post was breathtakingly beautiful and powerful too! I’ve read it three times! May Our Lord continue to inspire you, Patricia!


    • Mary, hi! I just got this comment through your facebook account. I wonder why you are having problems? I wish I knew how to fix that. I remember it happened last time too.
      Thank you so much for your kind words, and for linking to my blog. That post really did begin with Holy Communion — just being struck with the thought of the Stations of the Cross on either side of me and then the other things I shared. It was brief and vague while at Mass. But later, I felt I wanted to try to write it down. God is so good, and without Him, truly we can do nothing. All week, I hadn’t been able to write — even though I had ideas, the words wouldn’t come. “If the Lord doesnt’ build the house, in vain do the builders labor….” So true for everything, and I am humbled and grateful when He permits me to write something others value. May He be forever praised! Thank you for your joy and friendship!

  5. Beautiful, Patricia! Holy Communion is such a beautiful mystery. How great is our Savior’s love for us. Your gift for poetic prose in service of our Kingshines in this post. Love to you!

    • Colleen..I miss you! How are you doing? I finally have my computer back, so maybe I can catch up on your news. Thank you for the kind words. That is one of my favorite posts. Some almost seem to write themselves….and then others seem never to get written! Well, it’s very late…even for us 🙂 Thank you so much for stopping by. Love you xo

  6. Patricia,

    I am so glad you shared this post again. I didn’t read it first time around. Your words certainly needed to be shared again. You are so in tune with God.. so… one with God. After reading this I wonder how we can refuse Him anything if we are so ‘owned by God’. We are His. And how can we not do whatever He wants us to do when He is there living within us? Yes, we should have no fear.

    I feel so sad that some people refuse Jesus’ love. I met someone yesterday we gave up her Catholic faith and declares she is now an atheist. I couldn’t really work out why. She’s gone her own way. What if she’s wrong? What will happen to her soul? She says she thinks God will save her anyway because she’d never refuse to save one of her children even if they turned their back on her. But God doesn’t force Himself on anyone despite His love. To reject His gift, knowingly… I just can’t understand.

    Thank you so much for your reflection. xx

    • Hi Sue! Forgive me for being so late in replying; I was a bit under the weather, as they say.
      I agree with what you said about how we should not refuse God anything, but of course, I still do. St. Therese wrote that she had never refused God anything since the age of three!!! Can you imagine? I guess the important thing is that we keep trying. I find that it’s not that I don’t trust God and know He will work everything out. It’s more that I don’t like suffering, and so I sort of hope He won’t send me anything too awful, although I know He would also send the Grace to deal with it! I guess you could say that I’m a scaredy cat, rather like my little Benedict who is sleeping on the sofa 🙂 If you figure out how not to have any fear, please write a post about it. I know I should pray more about fear…

      Oh, how sad about that person you met. Your heart must have just broke for her. Perhaps God brought you together so that you could pray for her? I once corresponded with an atheist..never met him, for six years, and then he died. During those six years, I prayed for him constantly. (I want to write a post about him sometime.) It was as though God had really put him on my heart to pray for. I feel that my prayers, and of course the prayers of so many others did make a difference. I agree with you in that God respects us too much to save us if we have rejected Him. He gives us what we choose. Free will is an awesome power. I will remember this lady in my prayers tonight. So sad! Can you imagine even living your life on earth without God? How lonely that would be!

      Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, dear Sue. Love and hugs always to you…

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